When Volleyballs Are Outlawed

For the second time in less than a year, volleyball is hitting the Xbox (just when I’d used up all my “bump, set, spike” jokes): Outlaw Volleyball.

Like its earlier cousin, the much-beloved Outlaw Golf, this outrageous new sports title from developer Hypnotix and publisher Simon & Schuster Interactive is an over-the-top game loaded with a creative variety of play styles, characters that are usually as funny as they think they are, and The Daily Show’s Steve Carell behind the announcer’s mike. And just like the game that introduced the world to El Suave and Ice Trey, Outlaw Volleyball has a startlingly authentic and original simulation of the real thing hidden under all the serial killers, New Jersey jokes, and sweet, sweet can. Uh, candy.

And, if you’re good, I might even throw in a cheat or two.

Statological Humor
When you first popOutlaw Volleyball into the Xbox, you’ll notice you’ve got four ‘ballers to choose from, each with a very different set of starting stats, much like Outlaw Golf (which only makes sense, since a lot of the Outlaw Golf players appear here).

• Speed: For my money, this is the most important stat in the game—especially if, like me, you got a little lazy with returns in Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball™, which is a thousand times more forgiving when it comes to getting under the ball. None of your other stats matter if you can’t get to the ball in time.
• Power: Appropriately enough, the second-listed stat is almost as important as the first—without a high power rating, you’ll find you spikes come out more like sporks.
• Offense: This character statistic reflects your character’s ability to successfully return a ball. Definitely important, but not as important as speed.
• Defense: The opposite of offense. Duh.

Spike Ain’t Just a TV Channel or a Vampire Gameplay is tight, but that doesn’t mean it’s not tricky to pick up. Keep the following in mind …

• If you feel you absolutely must play with one character or another (which is of course your right, and your favorite character’s stats, well, suck, fear not—you can always improve the stats of your choice while you improve your own skills by going through Drills, the Outlaw Volleyball equivalent ofOutlaw Golf's “Outlaw Range.”
• On the same token, you don’t want to build up just one character, especially if you want to unlock stuff like costumes and courts.
• Get under the ball. If one of your players doesn’t have a speed of at least 85, find one that does and fire the slowpoke … from a cannon … into a pool of sharks.
• It’s not hard to return the ball if you get under it, but it can be difficult to hit it well if you have a low Defense or Offense. More importantly, when spiking or serving, do your level best to let that power meter get to the top. You’ll be glad you did.

I found the hardest thing in Outlaw Volleyball (other than Suave’s abs) was aiming my shot. Practice this skill as much as you can in Drill mode before you go onto Xbox Live, or face humiliation, taunting, and cruel name-calling. And, that’s just from me—imagine what the other players will be like.

Bright Lights, Big Cheats
Okay, I promised you some cheats. But there’s no “Unlock all stats and/or characters” stuff here. You’re already on the Internet and know where to find that stuff yourself if you must. These are the fun cheats.

1. Who's that guy with the big head?
   You, dummy! To enter big head mode, do the following during the lull before your opponent’s serve or before your own: Hold down the left trigger and hit B, A, B, Y (get it? Me neither). Voila! Look at the noggin on you, Sparky!
   
2. BOOM!
   Nothing spices up a volleyball match like a few well-placed explosions. To randomly drop a bomb on the court, hold the L trigger and press A,B, B, Y, then A and X together.
   
3. BOOM! BOOM!
   How to put this one delicately … okay, how’s this: You know that operation Demi Moore had and then had undone? That’s what this cheat does for the ladies of Outlaw Volleyball,except for the “undone” part. If you haven’t figured it out yet, read more tabloids. Or just wait until you or your opponent are about to serve, hold the left trigger and enter B, Up, Up, B, Y. Which doesn’t spell anything … I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about ...

By Ben Barker