Cool as Ice: NHL Hockey Comes to XSN Sports

There’s nothing quite like good old-fashioned rivalry. But, rather than honoring your love of a good rivalry with a gunfight and some jail time, maybe you should consider taking your grudge match online instead—online to XSN Sports, to be exact. And, what better way to settle the score than with a friendly game of hockey?

The Many Benefits of XSN Sports Hockey
Oh, let me count the sweet, sweet ways that NHL Rivals™ 2004 makes your everyday life better. For starters, it’s a great deal. Think of what you could do with the money you’ll save. Why, you could get that gap in your front teeth fixed! Or, you could put it toward the purchase of that Monte Carlo you’ve been salivating over. Regardless, you’ve got nothing to lose and plenty to gain. After you’re set up with Xbox Live, just register your Gamertag at XSNsports.com, and you’re ready to get cracking—cracking helmets, cracking ice, whatever!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. There’s nothing quite like beating another human being at a video game. Sure, you could just play against the A.I., but consoles don’t talk back when you insult them. It’s no fun whipping the tar out of a motionless piece of gadgetry. That’s why, when you’ve worked up the cajones to back up your smack, it’s time to make your mark online. Invite your buddies—or that hyper-nerd from physics class—to your game. Of course, you’ll whip them bloody, and why not? They deserve punishment, every last one of them, and you’re the one to administer it.

Bone Crunching Action in the Comfort of an Easy Chair
Forget driving an hour to pay for parking, just so you can drop 10 bucks on a hot dog and beer at the local high school hockey match. With NHL Rivals 2004 on XSN Sports, you can get all the action without even putting on your pants! (Though honestly, we’d prefer it if you did.) The first thing to do is invite your pals online by adding them to your Friends list. What’s that? You don’t have any friends? Don’t worry. It’s all virtual. No reason to get excited. After you’ve inducted all your secret rivals into your friends club, it’s time to set up a game. Remember, though, if you kick their butts in a pickup game, it’ll be fun, but it won’t count in the rankings. So, think before you tear off that grease-stained wife beater in a fit of glee.

A Star in Your Own Little World
Set up your own league, you have the chance to be a star! With the benefit of XSN Sports, you can play an entire season of NHL Rivals against the best of the best. Stats are posted in plain view of your competition, and you can work your way up the ladder until you’ve destroyed all who stand in your way.

Mwuhahahaha! Now who’s laughing?
It’s so simple, a well-trained ape could do it (and you don’t want those dirty apes hogging all the action, do you?). Simply select “Play XSNsports.com Game” from the Xbox Live menu to get started. You can check game schedules, track your rankings, and even invite others to play.

So, there you have it. NHL Rivals 2004 gives you all the excitement of big-time hockey action—without bodily damage or wasted trips in the car. So, after you’re finished practicing your dekes, checks, and slapshots, be sure to look me up. I could use another friend to smack around.

By Jim W. Gettys