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GamerSpeak:

Lamest PGR 2 Excuses

By Jim W. Gettys

Not long ago, we asked the loyal gamers of Xbox.com to share their Project Gotham Racing® 2 stories with us. We posed the question, “What's the lamest excuse you’ve ever heard for losing a race in Project Gotham Racing 2?” After letting the answers pile up in the Xbox.com forums, we picked the best excuses from the top of the heap. Which ones have you heard over the Xbox Live™ airwaves?

L0cutus wrote of a peculiar experience he once had. Nearing the end of the course, he found himself vying for first place with another driver. As they approached the final turn before the finish line, he honked his horn to psyche out his opponent. He was able to pull ahead as “something happened” to his opponent’s car—it disappeared! Moments later, L0cutus crossed the finish line as his nemesis reappeared hot on his tail. In the game lobby, everyone wanted to know what happened to the amazing disappearing car. The phantom driver’s response was, “Man, I had you beat, but I was trying to honk back at you, and I pushed the pause button!” The other racers spent the rest of the race honking at him … while being careful to avoid the Pause button.

There’s a big difference between honking and pausing.

Other excuses put the blame not on user error, but outside circumstance. As many gamers can attest, the “controller” excuse can take many forms. Nyykid prefers the, “Sorry, guys, my dog unplugged the controller again!” approach, while Skidz chooses the more believable (but equally lame) “My little sister accidentally disconnected the controller on that last turn!” SJoeMoe has heard the “my controller popped out of the port” once or twice, but even he had one to contribute. “I usually quit and go to the lobby when a phone call comes in, but even I have had to blame the phone for losses. (Because my wife is always phoning, and I get in crap if I don't answer!)” It might be time to invest in an answering machine, Moe.

Sometimes, just one lame excuse isn’t enough—you need a backup. Decibel Dave tells the story of one guy who started complaining that there was something wrong with his controller (because he certainly couldn’t have been losing just because the other players were better than him). Then, farther into the race, he announced that his grandmother was just admitted to the hospital, and he dropped out of the game—no doubt to rush to her side, flowers in hand. But, don’t worry. This grandmother is the fastest-recovering old lady you’ve ever heard of … because Dave saw him again in the very next room that he joined. It’s a miracle!

That concludes this installment of Xbox.com GamerSpeak. If you’ve got something to share, speak up and post your thoughts in the Xbox.com forums. Who knows? Your story might make it up here next, for all to see (or, in this case, point at and laugh).