10 Simple Rules for Playing Xtreme Beach Volleyball
By Ben Barker
As a volleyball game, Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball™ is simple to learn, tricky to play well, and hard to put down. As a relationship simulator (bet you didn’t even know that was a game category), it’s unlike anything you’ve ever played.
1. You’ve only got two weeks. Some things that seem quick take a surprising chunk out of your day. Asking someone to be your partner, presenting a gift to another girl who’s not your partner, hanging at the pool—it all eat up the clock, so try to be sure of a positive response if you’re partner-hunting or gift-giving.
2. Learn the portraits. Every DOA lady’s portrait changes to reflect whether she’s willing, normal, or unwilling. In most cases, it’s pointless to ask someone who’s unwilling to partner up, and if the portrait’s set to normal, you’d better have sweetened the deal with some recent gifts. Learn which portrait lines up with which mood, and interact accordingly.
3. Know your turn-ons and turn-offs—and theirs, too. The Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball manual will give you the basics: a girl’s favorite color, food, and hobbies. Commit them to memory. Don’t skimp on the gifts; not only will they make a potential partner more inclined to join you, but a well-placed present can also cause friction among opposing team members.
4. Master the jump serve. Press right on the thumbstick and then A firmly to perform a jump serve. If you’re lucky (and your opponents aren’t too fond of each other) you might get an easy point. A well-executed jump serve also gives you maximum nice points, which translate into Zack-bucks, and you can use those to gamble or to buy sweet, sweet presents.
5. Observe the rule of three—bump, set, and spike. The ladies of Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball can perform a number of tricky moves that can return the ball quickly, if you can pull them off (which usually involves hitting B at just the right time), such as the Quick Set or the Two Attack. But for consistency, you must master the bump-set-spike pattern. When your opponent sends the ball your way, tap B to bump the ball to your partner. She’ll set you up for the spike, giving you time to get into a prime spot to deliver the smash.
6. If you can’t time the block, go for the bump. Blocking a spike is probably the trickiest move, timing-wise, in the entire game. To block most spikes, you’ll need to time your jump (A) to be almost simultaneous with the opponent sending the ball your way. When you pull it off, you look brilliant, but consistently fail, and you’re leaving Zack Island a loser. If you can’t time the block, just go for the bump (see Rule 4).
7. Stick with a good thing. If you’ve got a partner who’s willing, and you keep winning, there’s little reason to switch horses in midstream. Gift a good partner daily.
8. Know when you’re not wanted. A corollary to number 7—if your partner’s mood is dropping, and you’ve lost a game or two, that partner’s probably going to ditch you soon. Keep plying her with gifts until she leaves, but start grooming prospective replacements (if you have the dough).
9. Nighttime is the right time. The day may be over, but there’s no reason to hit the sack just yet. With practice and a little luck, you can make some easy money in the casino. This is the only time you can give a gift to your current partner, and you can also send one present each to anyone else.
10. Victory equals money; money equals friends. Of course, the name of the game is volleyball, and that’s the best way to make Zack-bucks quickly. No matter how good you are at blackjack, odds are, you won’t make enough to buy the barely-there Venus unless you pick up the ball.
