Trixie360 Interviews AblativMeatshld
Published June 9, 2008
He's a gamer and student in Peoria, Illinois who hates detasseling corn. He's also trixie360's favorite and most persistent stalker. Meet AblativMeatshld.
trixie360: What's the story behind your Gamertag?
AblativMeatshld: There weren't enough available characters for "Ablative Meatshield," a tag I picked up years ago for being the "Enemy Finder" in games like Counter-Strike™. If I walked down a hallway and my death was announced, well, there you go.
trixie360: Where do you live?
AblativMeatshld: Peoria, IL. We gave you ingrates Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison. You're welcome.
trixie360: Meh, you lose points for Kinison. What do you do in Peoria?
AblativMeatshld: Accountancy student (I'll pass my Comm and Comp requirements one of these days I swear) and I do general clerical work at a local company. Why? You hiring?
trixie360: Always. Visit www.microsoft.com/careers. What's the worst or weirdest job you've ever had?
AblativMeatshld: Worst job would have to be detasseling corn. Up at oh-dark-thirty, work in the summer sun with little breeze (the corn would block it), and high humidity (dew off the stalks). I would probably walk 20 miles a day. Pay was good enough that I did it for three summers in a row.
trixie360: How long have you been on Xbox LIVE®?
AblativMeatshld: September of '07. Yeah, I'm a late adopter, but I figured it was time to get a box, and Jump In …
trixie360: Do you have an archenemy on Xbox LIVE?
AblativMeatshld: It isn't so much one person, but an entire category of person. The sort of person who missed the day in civics class when they talked about the actual First Amendment, think that LIVE should be free, and use "M$" when talking about Microsoft. The hate and rage they have for the game system they play constantly both amuses and infuriates me.
trixie360: What's your Xbox setup like?
AblativMeatshld: A 32-inch 720p/1080i Vizio HDTV (based on the glowing review of the brand Stepto gave a while back on his website) with a pair of Triton AX360 5.1 Surround Sound headphones. My gaming space (my bedroom) is oddly shaped, so an actual surround sound system isn't practical, and I like volume …
trixie360: What's the best feature of Xbox LIVE?
AblativMeatshld: Friends Lists that let you know what game your buddies are playing, though I suppose for you that's hardly needed, is it? Can you just change your motto to "Playing Zuma"?
trixie360: I do like my Zuma®. What do you think is the best game (console, PC, or arcade) of all time?
AblativMeatshld: Tough one … I guess right now for me it's Grand Theft Auto IV™, but Mass Effect™ is equally as amazing. And darn it but I love Star Wars®: Knights of the Old Republic™ (which needs to be an Xbox Original, BTW).
trixie360: What's the funniest thing you've ever heard on Xbox LIVE?
AblativMeatshld: Some teenager (if he was 17 years old I'd be shocked) complaining about how slow cable modems were, and darn it, how much gas was. I started driving with gas at or around a buck a gallon, and surfing BBSs on a 1200 baud modem. Darn kids these days …
trixie360: What is your greatest Xbox LIVE moment?
AblativMeatshld: Rickrolling a friend on April Fool's Day via the Vision Cam, voice message, and speakers for my iPod. Yeah, I need to get out more …
trixie360: If they made a movie about your life, who should play you?
AblativMeatshld: Edward Norton. I mean, how else will I get people to see the movie?
trixie360: What superpower would you like to have?
AblativMeatshld: Mind control.
trixie360: I'm not surprised. If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be?
AblativMeatshld: Bill Gates. But it couldn't be a banking holiday or a weekend.
trixie360: What celebrity would be the worst roommate?
AblativMeatshld: Any of them from the Girls Behaving Badly show. Seriously ladies, adjust your medication.
trixie360: Hot celeb you'd like to be stranded on a desert island with?
AblativMeatshld: I could find a way to be content if I was stuck with Jeri Ryan.
trixie360: If you could be any video game character, who would it be?
AblativMeatshld: John-117.
trixie360: What's the worst food you've ever eaten?
AblativMeatshld: Most any veggie really, but zucchini is a special kind of hate …
trixie360: What's the last book you read?
AblativMeatshld: Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription: Notes & Asides from National Review by William F. Buckley, Jr.
trixie360: If you could go on tour with any band, which would it be?
AblativMeatshld: Toby Keith. I'd love to tag along on a USO tour … but not your kind, thanks. ;)
trixie360: Yeah, you're definitely not invited on my kind of USO tour. What do you predict will be the "next big thing" in gaming?
AblativMeatshld: I suppose just better and better graphics, sound, and A.I. We already have sound effects that merely have their volume lowered to show distance, but the tone itself changes, so that gunshot from far off sounds like a real gunshot from that far off. I really think the next step is going to be more evolved A.I. for the game, so the computer isn't so set in stone.
trixie360: What do you think is the best thing about Xbox 360®?
AblativMeatshld: It's just a wonderful time sink. I just adore it, and Xbox LIVE. For all its faults and issues and such, it's the perfect blend of what I want and what I need. I'm sure the PS3's splendid, and that the Wii's great, but the 360 has—for my money—the best stuff.
trixie360: What is the Xbox 360 achievement that was hardest to get?
AblativMeatshld: Mongoose Mowdown in Halo® 3 was pretty freaking tough.
trixie360: What would you like to be doing in ten years?
AblativMeatshld: You. Raising a family, and working someplace I love.
trixie360: Uh, thanks, Meat. Keep sending the ponies and chocolate.
Interview by Trixie