Xbox Dad:

Keep in Touch with Xbox LIVE Vision

Published June 13, 2007

It's an interesting time of year for Dads. High school graduation is just around the corner and college graduation has probably already happened. For some of you, this means that your son or daughter is moving out of the house, and there are going to be some changes in your relationship.

Here's looking at you, kids!

As Father's Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on the relationship I have with my Dad as an adult, and then in turn, wondering how things are going to be with my kids as they get older. My biggest worry about my kids, and my biggest feeling of guilt around my own father, is the difficulty of maintaining a strong connection, and trying to continue to be a part of their lives.

The Strong, Silent Type
We are all very connected these days, through phones, e-mail and everything else, but communication can still be difficult. In a lot of families (including my own), Mom is the center of communication, and it is sometimes easier for a mother to stay in touch with her kids. I know people who call their parents often, but only talk to their Mom on the phone. Sure, they hear, "Dad says hi!" or maybe there is a quick hello before the phone gets passed along to Mom.

In the case of divorced parents, like mine, the difference between the two parents can be quite extreme. After I moved into the dorm at college, I heard from my Mom once or twice a week, but months would go by without any contact from Dad. Eventually, I decided that if I was going to have a relationship with him, it would be up to me to make it happen. When I called and suggested a visit, I found out that Dad really wanted to stay in touch, and he enjoyed our time together. He just wasn't used to starting the conversation.

Spending Quality Time Together
What I also realized is that we had much better visits when we weren't just visiting. Some of us men aren't the most social creatures, so it helps to have something else to do to take off the pressure to just chat. Watching a football game or a James Bond movie could spark the conversation in worthwhile ways.

Watching, or playing, a football game can spark a good conversation.

With my own son though, I have a readymade excuse to spend as much time with him as I can, videogames! With games, we get to sit on the couch together and talk about all sorts of things. A friend (and former boss) of mine, Rick Rosendahl (host of the TV show Router Workshop on PBS) clued me into this long before I had my own kids. He would ask his kids something like, "How was school?" and the most detailed response he could hope for was "Good." He knew better than to bug them for more though, so instead he just started sitting with them while they played video games. Sometimes he'd play, or maybe he'd just watch and make encouraging comments, but either way, the kids would relax and they'd end up chatting about anything that was on their minds. You can't force your kids to bond with you, but you can certainly make it a lot more likely by spending time doing things in which they're interested.

And of course, once the kids move out of the house, you can still keep playing games together, and keep the communication flowing, through Xbox LIVE®.

The Era of Video Chat
One of the real exciting features of the Xbox 360™ that I'm hoping to use with my parents now, and with my kids in the future, is video chat. With Xbox 360 and the Xbox LIVE Vision camera, you have one of the simplest video chatting setups available. Dad would probably enjoy a few hands of Texas Hold 'em, but the best way to convince him to pick up an Xbox 360 is the whole "video chat with the grandkids without leaving your couch" approach.

Gramps can chat with the grandkids, then play a little Texas Hold 'em.

As for my son, if he was heading out to a college dorm or apartment this fall, I know I'd send an Xbox 360 along with him. It's the perfect excuse to pick up an Elite and another camera, and then we'd be set for a real chat at any time. And if he's not up to talk, he could still accept a racing challenge from his old man.

Happy Father's Day!
I hope you have a good Father's Day (hmmm … I'm imagining pancakes in bed, and a controller fully charged and brought to my hand). I'd be interested in knowing your thoughts about this column especially. If you're an adult, what is your relationship like with your father? And if you have adult kids, how has that changed your relationship with them? Would you be able to get your Dad or your kids (or both!) to play games with you on a regular basis? What do they think about the possibility of video chat? Just give me a shout and let me know!

Article by Duncan Festive Turkey Mackenzie