Community Spotlight:

TriXie Interviews Team Smurf

February 18, 2004

If you thought the Smurfs were just little blue varmints who live in a village of mushrooms, you haven’t played Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six® 3 with a group of Canadian gamers known as Team Smurf. Two brothers and two of their friends from work started gaming together on the PC playing Half-Life: Team Fortress. When Xbox Live came around, they were there. Havoc Smurf says, “We decided to use the Smurf tag as we felt it would be easier to recognize each other online. Since we are all children of the eighties, we felt that the Smurf tag would be appreciated by other old geezers such as ourselves, and the kids who thought that Smurfs were cute miniature blue pacifists would be duped into complacency and would therefore be terribly outmatched by our savage, coordinated assault.” So look upon these Smurfs and despair!

TriXie: Where do you live?

Terror Smurf: White Rock, B.C.
Chaos Smurf: Langley, B.C.
Havoc Smurf: Penticton, B.C.
Juggernaut Smurf: Maple Ridge, B.C.

TriXie: I used to go up to White Rock all the time! What do you do for a living?

Terror Smurf: Automotive service advisor/writer.
Chaos Smurf: I'm a business analyst/accountant/database administrator.
Havoc Smurf: Customer service manager/senior inside sales for an electrical wholesaler.
Juggernaut Smurf: Network administrator.

TriXie: Jug, you’re the only one without a slash in his job title. What’s the worst or weirdest job you’ve ever had?

Terror Smurf: Warehousing for a Frenchy. He is an ***hole.
Chaos Smurf: When I was 15, I had a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant. In that business the dishwasher is the lowest person on the totem pole. You get treated like ****.
Havoc Smurf: Twelve-hour graveyard shifts at a fish-packing plant for three days before I quit (bringing a tuna sandwich for lunch was the worst mistake I ever made).
Juggernaut Smurf: Worked at a greenhouse cutting flowers and shoveling manure.

TriXie: Were you beta testers?

Terror Smurf: I wish.
Chaos Smurf: Yes, I was included in the second round selections at the end of September 2002. What an amazing gaming experience! Juggernaut was jealous because he didn't make it. Ha ha ha Jug! During our Halo LAN parties I told the guys all about Live and how incredibly awesome it was.
Havoc Smurf: No.
Juggernaut Smurf: No.

TriXie: Chaos wins that round. How many people do you have on your Friends List?

Terror Smurf: 40 or so.
Chaos Smurf: I have 45 friends on my list, and they all belong to a forum group called XCL (Xbox Canadian Live). The group started out with mainly Canadian members, but now we also have a few U.S. gamers. This brainchild of Mr. Jamison came into existence because of Mr. J's lackluster experience on the Xbox.com forums.
Havoc Smurf: 60+ (I play with about 20 people on a regular basis).
Juggernaut Smurf: 13. All Xbox Canadian Live members.

TriXie: Havoc’s got the most friends. Do you have an arch enemy on Xbox Live?

Terror Smurf: Yes, anyone on the opposite team. Especially annoying people who run their mouths.
Chaos Smurf: Arch enemies may be too strong of a label, but I used to love playing against CCM in Wolfenstein. CCM played so much Wolfenstein that the German government made him an honoree citizen. Currently, Robota and Christmas Jones give me the most trouble when I play Rainbow Six 3.
Havoc Smurf: This week it's Maxpendragon; he keeps sniping me in R63.
Juggernaut Smurf: Basically anyone on the other side is my enemy.

TriXie: How do your Smurfettes feel about your gaming?

Terror Smurf: She is just okay with it, but she would rather have me playing Xbox than playing with another lady.
Chaos Smurf: My wife hates the Xbox. If the games are more complex than the games she plays on popcap.com then she can't be bothered with them. I always use the argument that she should be glad I'm at home and not roaming sports bars with my buds. Then she says she wouldn't have married me if I did that. We came to an agreement where I can play one night a week starting at 8:00 PM and any night I like after she goes to bed.
Havoc Smurf: My wife is very understanding as I usually don't get on until after she goes to bed except on Tuesday and Fridays, which are the regular meet nights. Besides, it's better than being at the pub or having friends over at 9:00 a.m. every Sunday morning for football.
Juggernaut Smurf: I usually keep my gaming nights to specific days, but anytime after the kids are off to bed is free game.

TriXie: Maybe we should market it to wives: “XboxLive: Keeps your husband home.” What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard on Xbox Live?

Terror Smurf: Some of the stuff the XCLers joke about when we are all in that frame of mind. Brocket 94.
Chaos Smurf: One night when I was playingWolfenstein, I could hear this guy arguing with his wife about how much time he spends on Live and then he proceeded to justify his habit with the comment "You should be happy I'm not out roaming bars with my buddies." The next thing I see is a message saying he left the game.
Havoc Smurf: I wish I could repeat it, but kids under 18 might read this.
Juggernaut Smurf: "Want to hear my kitty purr?"

TriXie: What is your greatest Xbox Livemoment?

Terror Smurf: Couldn't single one out of the ones I have had, but killing the entire opposition in a single round is up there. Mocking Chaos Smurf and having all 14 XCLers pissing themselves listening to me blasting off jokes and one liners.
Chaos Smurf: It's hard to say, but I'll always remember the kill I had on a fellow XCLer in Wolfenstein. Let me paint the picture for you. I was a medic, and my MP40 was out on bullets and Havoc (our Lieutenant) was on the beach in the Beach level. The Allies grab the documents and decided to go long, and I was the only one in their path. I was able to kill the first guy with my pistol, but that quickly ran out of bullets. It was a show down between me and JakenBear, and he had the Venom. JakenBear just unloads a hail of bullets, but somehow misses me because I was dancing around these crates. Somehow I get behind him during a reload and knife him to death. Yeah, that was great!
Havoc Smurf: So far it is R63. Six-on-six, and I single-handedly wiped the entire other team two games in a row.
Juggernaut Smurf: I would have to say my firstXSN Sports Championship for NFL Fever 2004. I was down 21 at the half and pulled into the lead late in the fourth quarter and held my opponent out of the end zone on fourth and goal in the dying seconds of the game.

TriXie: What feature would you like to see on XboxLive?

Terror Smurf: Cheaters’ stats deleted and a hand that can come out of the headset to slap idiots who need a good slap.
Chaos Smurf: A really helpful feature would be the ability to send little voice messages with game invites. If the rumors are true, I won't have long to wait for this one.
Havoc Smurf: Forced game invites (I send an invite and that person is automatically dragged into my match against their will).
Juggernaut Smurf: Anti-cheating measures. Things like action replay should not be allowed on Live.

TriXie: What future Xbox Live games are you looking forward to?

Terror Smurf: Halo 2,Half-Life 2.
Chaos Smurf: I can't wait until Halo 2comes out. The greatest thing about Halo was the LAN (System Link) games. Rainbow Six is great, but the aiming is jerky. We had a 12-player Halo LAN game going at Terror's house, and it was as smooth as butter. I really don't care if Halo 2 looks better than Halo, just as long as the aiming is smooth.
Havoc Smurf: Halo 2, duh!

TriXie: What’s your favorite offline Xbox game?

Terror Smurf: Splinter Cell,KOTOR.
Chaos Smurf: Splinter Cell. I love the game. The story is great, and the weapons and gadgets are amazing.
Havoc Smurf: Morrowind.
Juggernaut Smurf: Splinter Cell.

TriXie: Havoc, you’re outnumbered. What’s the most obnoxious thing gamers do on Xbox Live?

Terror Smurf: Running their mouths when they suck.
Chaos Smurf: I would have to say the American Idol auditions. Listen people, if you really want to continue singing to me on Live, it better be good because as Simon Cowell would say, “You’re all the worst singers ever."
Havoc Smurf: Deliberate team killing or Bradofcanada playing drunk at 1:00 a.m. (Just kidding Brad, we will never let you live it down!)
Juggernaut Smurf: Team killing.

TriXie: What’s the best game of all time?

Terror Smurf: I have a few that are tops in my book: Halo, Diablo 2, TFC, EA's NHL.
Chaos Smurf: That's a hard question. It's betweenDuke Nukem and StarCraft. Don't make me choose.
Havoc Smurf: That is too tough of a question. How do you pick the best star out of the sky? PC: Baldur's Gate series; console: R63 so far; arcade: Black Tiger.
Juggernaut Smurf: StarCraft.

TriXie: What do you think is the best film of all time?

Terror Smurf: Lord of Rings (all three) and Austin Powers (all three).
Chaos Smurf: All of the Lord of the Rings movies, but if I had to pick one of them, then it's Return of the King.
Havoc Smurf: LOTR trilogy.
Juggernaut Smurf: Any of the LOTR movies.

TriXie: I think we have a consensus. What’s the best album of all time?

Terror Smurf: Hard to say. Pearl JamTen.
Chaos Smurf: I'm not a big music fan, but I really enjoyed the Hootie and the Blowfish album.
Havoc Smurf: Blind Melon's debut album.
Juggernaut Smurf: Nirvana,Nevermind.

TriXie: Interesting. You all picked albums from the early nineties. You are aware that this is 2004, right? What’s a TV show that you never miss?

Terror Smurf: The Brady Bunch.
Chaos Smurf: 24. Best show in a long time.
Havoc Smurf: Sorry, TV sucks. If I have time to watch TV, I turn on the Xbox.
Juggernaut Smurf: Alias.

TriXie: What’s your favorite TV show that’s no longer running?

Terror Smurf: Seinfeld.
Chaos Smurf: Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Havoc Smurf: The Smurfs Adventures, of course!
Juggernaut Smurf: Babylon 5.

TriXie: Is your inner rock star more like Elvis, Jimi, or Mick?

Terror Smurf: Jimi
Chaos Smurf: Mick.
Havoc Smurf: Jimmy Page. I play guitar and was in a band until my second child was born.
Juggernaut Smurf: Jimi.

TriXie: Three Jimmies and a Mick! Um … if they made a movie about your life, who should play you?

Terror Smurf: Stiffler from American Pie. The wife would say Tom Greene.
Chaos Smurf: For some reason I want to say Ben Affleck, and I really don't have a good reason.
Havoc Smurf: The creepy ogre dude from Goonies that loved the candy bars. Compared to him, I would look like a hunk!
Juggernaut Smurf: Ray Romano.

TriXie: So the Team Smurf movie would star Ben Affleck, Ray Romano, Stiffler, and the nasty guy who goes around saying “Baby Ruth?” Talk about an all-star cast. Speaking of the Smurf show, do you think Gargamel was truly evil or just misguided?

Terror Smurf: Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie. Not even enough. He just needed the mushrooms to mellow out.
Chaos Smurf: Gargamel was just misinformed. You see, Mr. Atkins told Gargamel that Smurfs were low in carbs.
Havoc Smurf: He was just hungry. If Ol’ King Cole can make a pie out crows, why can't Gargamel have Smurf-kebobs?
Juggernaut Smurf: Let’s see, a single balding male who talks to his cat and chases little blue people around for kicks. Sounds well-adjusted to me.

TriXie: Uh, Havoc, King Cole is the one who “called for his pipe, bowl, and fiddlers three.” But whatever. Which Smurf do you think is most like you?

Terror Smurf: Jokey Smurf.
Chaos Smurf: Brainy. I'm definitely smarter than the other Smurfs.
Havoc Smurf: I wish I could say Ron Jeremy Smurf, but I can settle for Brainy Smurf.
Juggernaut Smurf: Papa Smurf. Uncontested control over all the other Smurfs.

TriXie: So we’ve got Papa, Jokey, Brainy, and Porno Smurf covered—Smurfville is safe. What super power would you like to have?

Terror Smurf: Invisibility.
Chaos Smurf: The ability to manipulate time. If I could stop time just for my wife and continue playing onLive that would prevent many arguments.
Havoc Smurf: Ability to use the Force like a Jedi Master.
Juggernaut Smurf: X-ray vision.

TriXie: If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be?

Terror Smurf: Hugh Hefner, he’s the world’s biggest pimp.
Chaos Smurf: John Elway in Super Bowl XXXII. The guy’s a bloody football god and hey, cheeseheads, bite me.
Havoc Smurf: My wife, so she would know how lucky she really is.
Juggernaut Smurf: A Chicago Bears quarterback playing host to the Green Bay Packers at Soldier Field.

TriXie: If you had to come back as an animal in the next life, what would you be?

Terror Smurf: A tiger.
Chaos Smurf: A leopard. Their skins make the sexiest women's undergarments.
Havoc Smurf: Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house cat.
Juggernaut Smurf: A cat. I can't think of a lazier animal.

TriXie: Interesting that you all chose a feline, considering that Azrael was always trying to eat the Smurfs. And how about a big Happy Birthday to Zsa Zsa. She turned 85 last week, and I’m sure she’s a frequent reader of the Gamer Spotlight. Who's your favorite superhero?

Terror Smurf: The Hulk.
Chaos Smurf: Wolverine.
Havoc Smurf: Wolverine.
Juggernaut Smurf: Guys like Spiderman and Wolverine have style, but Superman has got to be the best one around.

TriXie: Wolverine is hot, but The Hulk was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Ever. Okay, so … Charlize Theron or Angelina Jolie?

Terror Smurf: Angelina Jolie.
Chaos Smurf: Charlize Theron because the most beautiful woman in the world wasn't a choice. Where's Halle Berry?
Havoc Smurf: Charlize Theron. 1. She's way hotter. 2. I don't take seconds from a moron like Billy Bob Thornton.
Juggernaut Smurf: Angelina Jolie.

TriXie: Gwen Stefani or J.Lo?

Terror Smurf: Gwen Stefani.
Chaos Smurf: Gwen Stefani because I love small cute blonds.
Havoc Smurf: J Lo. Did you see Gwen's hair at the Golden Globes?
Juggernaut Smurf: Gwen.

TriXie: Yeah, that ‘do was very, um, aerodynamic. I thought you didn’t watch TV, Havoc. Bad Smurf! What celebrity would be the worst roommate ever?

Terror Smurf: Michael Jackson.
Chaos Smurf: John Goodman. He would eat all the food clearly labeled in the fridge with your name and make up some pathetic excuse on how he didn't see it.
Havoc Smurf: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Could you imagine: "Hey Havoc, can you scratch my butt again because I can't reach it!"
Juggernaut Smurf: Martha Stewart.

TriXie: Havoc, it disturbs me that you’re thinking about touching the governor’s butt. If you could go on tour with any band, which would it be?

Terror Smurf: Nickelback. They put on good show.
Chaos Smurf: Pearl Jam.
Havoc Smurf: AC/DC.
Juggernaut Smurf: Audioslave.

TriXie: What do you predict will be the “next big thing” in gaming?

Terror Smurf: Halo 2.
Chaos Smurf: Wireless retinal imaging glasses with built-in surround sound. HDTV gaming anywhere you go, baby.
Havoc Smurf: MMORPG that you don't have to pay for monthly.
Juggernaut Smurf: The ability for users to generate the content in the games that they play.

TriXie: What are you hoping for in the next Xbox console?

Terror Smurf: Faster processor, better graphics, and no lag!
Chaos Smurf: More RAM to accompany higher upload speeds to play games like Battlefield 1942 online.
Havoc Smurf: Ability to use old Xbox games like the PS2 did. That would add a whole lot of value.
Juggernaut Smurf: Cutting edge graphics and support for more then 16 players in an online game.

TriXie: What would you like to be doing in 10 years?

Terror Smurf: Win the lottery, go to Venice, move close to my brother Havoc Smurf.
Chaos Smurf: Playing online games together with my son.
Havoc Smurf: Getting paid to play games. I spend nearly all my free time gaming. Why not make a living at it? If I had known then what I know now I would have pursued it right after high school instead of getting into a successful (but only moderately interesting) career in the electrical industry. If I didn't have a family to support, I would probably quit and go back to school for it.
Juggernaut Smurf: I would love to make games for a living. Something in 3-D graphics.

TriXie: Thanks, Smurfs!