Hardcore in the Hood

By Hardcore

Glee! There is glee in the house of Hardcore! Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas™ has finally made its outstanding debut on the Xbox® console. There may be no person less qualified to speak intelligently about gang life in the hood, but I can delve into the irreverent world Rockstar Games has built with such enthusiasm that vitamin supplements and a keg of water are the only thing that stand between me and a dried-out husk my neighbor finds three weeks later in front of the TV, San Andreas still onscreen in my darkened, drape-drawn gaming room.

More than the new subject matter, the updated graphics, and a wholly new environment, San Andreas provides the hardcore community the gameplay that we so desperately need. It's tailor made for those that wish to abuse themselves in order to reach a likely impossible goal. It's perfectly crafted for a never-ending assault of "I wonder if I can …" homebrew quests, and even its story missions offer outstanding opportunity for taking the road less traveled. Handing out advice on how to play GTAhardcore is likely preaching to the choir, but general hints on how best to bend San Andreas to your own will are always helpful.

Dressing pimp. That's hardcore.

Leave Emmit Alone
Early on in my life on Grove Street, I noticed a disturbing trend. If I had recently died or used up all my bullets in some spontaneous gang warfare and then picked up a new mission, I would see a small message at the bottom of my screen imploring me to head to Emmit's for a new piece. Bah I say, bah! I get my guns off my fallen enemies, and so should you, fool!

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
I want to know what kind of sad-sack pansy thinks he's all hardcore rolling up on a pack of purple-clad Ballers in a smashed up car. You can't walk with a swagger when your bumper is all dragging on the ground, your windows are shattered, and doors are dangling from a hinge. How can you be disrespecting CJ like that, man? Your wheels have got to be pristine! Real hardcore folk need to drive fast and lean, but also clean. Recognize!

Hit them switches.

You Ain't No Kind of Man Unless You Own Land
In case you haven't noticed, there's a world of property to be bought up by your hardcore self throughout San Andreas. Make it a priority, for, as the tag line says, you ain't no kind of man unless you own land. This is an absolute must for completists out there, and you can't be hardcore unless you're aiming for a hundred percent. While we're at it, make sure you beat cheeks around town and find all one hundred tags, all fifty oysters, and all fifty horseshoes. Let's not forget about the seventy unique jumps in the game either. Get moving, son!

Bring On the Army
If you're gonna start some stuff with the local 5-O, you better be prepared to take your rampage to five stars. Let them bring in the helicopters, let them bring in the FBI, and let them call the army with all their artillery. You are CJ Johnson, the baddest man alive. Take 'em all on and, if you truly want to prove yourself, steal one of the high-end vehicles like an FBI cruiser or army vehicle of one kind or another and take it back to one of your numerous pads. Get that done and you can truly know that you're doing it up right.

Them's some Popeye forearms.

One Shot!
This is a classic rule for every game that supports it. You can headshot enemies for an instant kill. That said, I can't abide a fallen enemy with more than one bullet in them. Get your manual aim going fierce and no man can stop you.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is a hardcore gamer's dream come true. It never ends and it never stops challenging you. The story is great and missions are a blast, but long after all those are over, you'll still come back to San Andreas for homebrew challenge after homebrew challenge.