The Deadly Art of Merchandising

By Ben Barker

The release date for the hotly anticipated Ninja Gaiden® from Tecmo and developers Team Ninja (the folks behind the Dead or Alive franchise) may have slipped a bit into 2004, but that’s going to allow them time to perfect what’s looking to be a real stunner.

However, that’s no reason to go without your ninja fix. Fortunately, Tecmo’s got the solution: official Ninja Gaiden merchandise that will keep you stylishly attired while you look forward to the game’s arrival on the Xbox. Order directly from Tecmo’s Web site, and you too can master the deadly art of merchandising.

“You got the beanie, huh?”

Old School Trucker Hat
Though ninjas rely on stealth and skill to overcome many obstacles, the Old School Trucker Hat bears an iron-on-style image of Ryu in action and gives the ninja the ability to hide in plain site in almost any location as long as that location is a NASCAR race or a freestyle competition. It also keeps the ninja’s head cool with fine mesh construction. Ryu can kill someone with this hat, but we decided not to ask him how.

Flex-fit Cap
Sure, Ryu’s headscarf is convenient for concealing his identity, but what happens when the sun comes out? The guy’s got no shades! Lucky for our ninja hero, he always keeps an official black NG flex-fit cap, adorned with the striking Ninja Gaiden logo, available for such occasions. It’s also handy for those times when the Dead or Alive ladies are up for a little Xtreme Beach softball.

Nope, no golden pasties available … yet.

Beanie
You know, I could have sworn these used to be called stocking caps, and beanies were the things with the propellers. Anyway, this black cap, which bears the same logo as the flex-fit (that nifty red silhouette of Ryu over the game’s title), must have been inspired by Ryu’s brief stint as a longshoreman in the early nineties. It’s guaranteed to keep ninja heads warm when things get frosty, and it doubles as a disguise when pulled waaaaaay down on the face.

T-shirts
Tecmo offers four different styles of T-shirts. For maximum concealment, go for the black short- or long-sleeved tee with theNinja Gaiden logo affixed in the appropriate places. For ninjas with sunnier dispositions, two white versions come with the same cool iron-on image as the trucker hat. Wear one under a button-up dress shirt; then, at the first sign of trouble, rip your shirt open and shout, “This looks like a job for … a ninja!” Okay, maybe not.

“Sure, vengeance would be nice, but all I really want is a T-shirt with Ryu on the front.”

Sweat Band
Nothing can ruin a ninja’s mission like sweat runoff. It makes your hands slippery, meaning you might drop your shuriken at the wrong moment or slip off of a sheer wall. Be like Ryu, and wear the official Ninja Gaiden wrist sweat band (in black, with the red and white Ninja Gaiden logo).

Leather Wrist Wrap
Now black leather, that’s something a ninja can really get behind. The official leather wrist wrap is embossed with the Ninja Gaiden logo and is fully adjustable. So, whether you’re a meat-wristed ogre or some kind of pod person, your wrists will always be protected. Note: Does not stop bullets. Trust me.

Leather Chain Wallet
Nothing is more convenient than a chain wallet. No matter what the situation, Ryu is always ready to whip out a few bucks to tip the valet or produce his identification for a state trooper. And, of course, the chain is useful for all kinds of things, ninja-wise. It’s also embossed with the Ninja Gaiden logo, which will remind to make sure there’s always at least 50 bucks in your account, for when your inner Ninja Gaiden comes out.